The Next Morning Hangover...etc...

Oh the next morning was so, so emotional. I remember being awake for a while but laying in bed wondering how I should face the day. What I would do without Drew doing it with me? I know that sounds so incredibly sappy, and it is. But those were my true feelings. I was really a little bit surprised it was as hard for me as it was. I thought I had prepared myself pretty well and knew what to expect. Not only that but I had seen Melissa (my sister) go through the same thing so I felt having witnessed it secondhand a few years earlier, I might be able to buck up and not lose it every time his name was mentioned. No such luck.

I remember while I was laying in bed, my brother Zach came into my room. I can't remember what he came in for but he asked how I was doing and I couldn't even answer. I just started crying and tried to get out that I was doing fine. haha I think he hugged me and then let me be alone to cry it out. As soon as I regained composure I decided it was time to emerge from my room and make something of the day. I went out to our living room and my mom was there. I just hugged her and cried. We sat on the couch and I just cried and let out all my feelings. I said things like, "I just don't think I will ever find anyone like Drew. I want to marry him, Mom. He is the best, there is no one better. I just know it. I know I have to date other people but I don't want to. I miss him already." I believe she said something like, "I know. But it will get easier. And maybe you won't find someone better than him. Either way you have a lot to look forward to."

My mom was right. As the days went on it did get easier. I started getting excited about being able to write him letters and get his letters in the mail. I would go hang out with his family weekly which helped a lot. And I was still looking for a job so I had something to keep me busy. I ended up getting a job at an Alzheimer's care center but found out I had mono shortly after being hired and had to quit. I learned I had mono about 2 weeks after Drew left. I was actually at the Everton family reunion on the Oregon coast and was miserably sick and tired the entire time. And I was worried Drew would get it but he never did.

I recovered from mono. Drew survived the CTM and was a pro at speaking portuguese. He left the CTM around August 16th and shortly after that I went back to BYU-Idaho. I hit the ground running. It was my first semester in the culinary program and it was busy. I loved it. I was called to be one of the Relief Society presidents in my ward also. And I had some roommates with......issues, which kept things interesting. haha

(Drew's collection of my letters while on the mission)

I dated a couple of guys while Drew was gone. Those were the times my letters would taper off a little. haha But other than those times we both wrote pretty consistently. Sometime the mail was slow or I would start a letter and not finish and it wouldn't get sent. Drew had a few lulls as well but we each of a good stack of letters from each other. I love reading mine because they are pretty much a journal of my life in college. Anyway, the first guy I dated was a preemie who wanted me to wait for him after we dated for, I think it was about 3 months. So I broke up with him. There was no way I was sending off another missionary and I didn't really like him. The next was a fresh RM who was looking to refill his canteen and was really not what I thought he was. That lasted about 2 months. The last guy was probably the most normal but he wanted to get married and....I didn't. Not even close. The night I broke up with him (with about 5 months left until Drew got home) I walked in the door and cried. I know I only dated a few guys, but I was so tired of not having reciprocating feelings and being the one to end it. I know, its got to be worse being the one dumped but still, it was terrible. It was that same night that I had en experience that let me know I was going to marry Drew. I called and told my mom I knew I was going to marry him. So I stopped worrying about dating. That was awesome.

(valentine letters to each other during the mission)

I graduated from the Culinary Arts program in April (2006) but had an internship to go to in Salt Lake City to officially finish up my degree. This was a decision I struggled with. I had really wanted this internship and was ecstatic when I got accepted for the job but I was torn because that would mean I wouldn't be home when Drew got home. I wrote Drew about it and talked to my parents about it. Drew wrote back and said he was fine with whatever I decided. My parents were on board for me taking the job. I prayed a lot about it and I did it. I loved it. I worked as a pastry chef in the Joseph Smith Memorial building for the Roof Restaurant. I learned a lot there and had a great "out of college" kind of "real life" experience for the summer.

My internship began in the beginning of May. I started a countdown to when Drew was getting home and to Zach and Ksenia's (my brother and sister in-law) wedding because that would be the first time I would get to see Drew. Zach and Ksenia were originally planning on getting married in August but conveniently changed the wedding to June 27th. :) Drew got home June 14th. I was so anxious and giddy that day. I worked that day so it helped pass the time. I figured he would be calling me sometime that night so I knew I wouldn't miss it. When I got home from work, I went for a run. Got home, still no call. My roommates Becky and Vivian (2 of my favorite people) decided we should go out to dinner to celebrate him being home and make time go by while we were waiting for him to call. They were as excited for his call as I was, it was fun. While we were at dinner, Drew text me. It said something like, "I'm baaack! I am so exhausted. If its okay, I want to call you tomorrow after I get some sleep and visit with my family." I told him that was totally fine and I looked forward to it. I have to admit it was a bit of a let down. But I did want him to have time with his family and I don't like talking when I'm tired either. So I waited an EXTRA 24 HOURS to get to talk to him. It was glorious when I saw his number show up on my phone the next day. Nervous and giddy still, when I heard his voice I almost cried, it was that good to hear him and know he was home in Hillsboro. I don't even remember what we talked about but it was the same feeling as before, natural and comfortable. Picking up right where we left off.

We talked on the phone every day after that and long into the night. One of the times we talked, Drew let me know that when we saw each other, he didn't want to beat around the bush anymore. He didn't want to do the awkward "when are we going to hold hands? when are we going to kiss?" thing. He said we had done that already, twice. And we didn't need to do it again. I flew home a few days before Zach and Ksenias wedding. Guess who picked me up at the airport? Drew. Most of the two years he was gone, I day dreamed of what it would be like the day he got home and when I would see him at the airport after getting off the plane from his mission. So it was funny to me that it turned out he would be seeing ME for the first time at the airport. I could not get off that plane fast enough. I made a quick stop at the bathroom to make sure I looked presentable, walked around the corner to walk through the security gates and there he was. We both had the biggest smiles ever. We kissed and hugged, kissed and hugged again and headed to his car walking hand in hand. It was so surreal! You guys, it was like the most exciting thing ever. I still get butterflies thinking about that reunion. It was the beginning of MANY happy times to come.

We got to the car and he pulled out this poster-sized collage he had been up all night making for me. It was A-MAZING. It was a collage of our history from us at 15 until then. It had random IM chats we had when we were 15, pictures of us, some of our favorite movie quotes, mission pictures, college pictures, old concert or movie tickets. It had it all. Another priceless possession we still have today.

We went straight to my house from the airport to meet up with the rest of the family for a big dinner. All eyes were on us. That was a bit awkward but still fun to be back with all my family and have Drew there with me. We ended up driving Zach and Ksenia back to her parents house later that night. We had a miscommunication and thought we were just dropping Ksenia off and that Zach would be coming back with us. So we were waiting out in the car for almost an hour realizing that Zach wasn't coming out. I went to start up my dads car and it was dead. Totally dead. We ended up having to walk a few blocks from Ksenia's house to Drew's house so we could get Drew's dads truck to drive me back home. This was at about midnight. We laughed all the way to Drew's house thinking about how silly the situation was but how happy we were just to be together. Its actually another of my fondest memories.

After that Drew was at all the wedding festivities with me. He dropped me back off at the airport. That wasn't a fun goodbye but not nearly as bad knowing we could talk on the phone whenever we wanted and that it would only be a couple more months before I was home for good. He came with my parents to the Everton family reunion in Idaho that July. It was great to get more time with him. It was at that reunion I let Drew know where I stood, what my thoughts and feelings were about us. We were still on the same page.

After that reunion, Drew couldn't stand that I wasn't home in Oregon with him so he came to visit me in Utah a couple of times before my internship ended. One time it was a surprise trip. I was riding the TRAX back to my house from work and I was on the phone with him. Next thing I know he was right behind me on the train. I had even been talking to him on the phone the night before when I thought he was at home but he was in the car driving to Utah. He let my roommates know he was coming. He was back to his usual antics. I was so in love with him. :) It was also on one of his trips that we finally told each other we loved each other for the first time. We always joke about this because I decided to profess my undying love for him while we were sitting on the couch watching random things on tv like the discovery channel Shark week. Obviously I had other things on my mind. I looked over at him and hesitated for a few minutes to actually say it. Drew had to coax it out of me a bit asking me what I wanted to say. I let it out. "I......" a bit of a pause, "well, I love you." He smiled and laughed a little bit. "I love you too babe." That felt so good. Not only did I have my missionary back, but I could tell him all the things I had been feeling for 2 years and he could do the same. It was heavenly. And we couldn't keep our hands off each other...

Tomorrow: The End. Our Engagement! The last love story post.