B James

I ache for my brother Beau. I miss him and am looking forward to catching up with him (and the rest of you siblings and in-laws) soon. He has been through a lot this last year. Its bittersweet looking at these pictures. He is not the same, but there is a new Beau to love just as much as the old. I can't wait to hear his stories (where he is and what he is doing haha). I can't wait to go on walks with him. I can't wait to hear him giggle and crack jokes. I can't wait to be with him. I miss our late nights in high school or our long talks on the phone in college. I miss having him over to Drew and I's place to sleep over and watch movies. I miss him giving me every ounce of music he owns (and it was always A LOT). I miss his smile. I even miss his bad moods. ;) It's been too long since I've gotten to talk with him. And he was in the hospital during that time.

I just really do ache for him. Its hard to let go of the past and embrace the now. But I find a lot of hope in Gods plan and that he is VERY mindful of Beau. For some reason tonight Beau's current situation is really hitting me. It ebbs and flows, sometimes I can deal with it well. Other times, it hits me like a ton of bricks and weighs on my mind. But like my dad always says, we have every reason to be hopeful and trust in Heavenly Fathers plan. I am hopeful and I trust in Him.